Leta Herman, Energetic Acupressure

Discover your elemental energetics and that of your partner, child, or relative. Use this information to heal and enhance growth in your relationship.

Energetic differences in relationships cause anger and resentment that can erode a beautiful relationship. Leta identifies your elemental type and helps develop understandings between partners (or parents and children), creating forgiveness. In addition each person learns new techniques for communicating better and giving the other what they need.

Traditional counseling focuses on many aspects of a couple’s history and the individual personalities of each partner. However, there is one key factor in relationship that traditional therapy doesn’t account for – the energetics of the relationship.

What is relationship energetics? The Chinese believe that each of us has a specific energetic type that influences everything we do. The way we move, the way our eyes look, the tone of our voice, how we interact with others, what we want most from others, and even how our smell!

Imagine if you could understand someone you love based on their energetic type. Many misunderstandings and annoyances are caused by each person not understanding what is typical and normal for the other person. When you finally realize that a person is your love does those “darndest” things for a reason, and the reason makes complete sense, then forgiveness can come and you can let go of old resentments.

Understanding the Five Elements can help you have better communication with your lover, child, parent, friend, or co-worker. Even your bank manager when you’re asking for a loan will be more impressed when you understand Five Element energetic dynamics. Body language, hand shake, tone of voice, speed of language, length of sentences, look in the eyes, and the overall way you present yourself to someone all make a huge difference in how you are received by the other person, even casual acquaintances.

I’ve been working with folks to understand the dynamics of their elemental energies in the relationship. To do this work, both parties in the relationship come to my office together. I usually start with a longer session on the first day because we must begin by ensuring we understand the energy dynamics.  What element is each person? We use various techniques to evaluate your energetic type.

            Once we evaluate each person’s type, we often discuss some current difficulty as a way to explore the relationship dynamics. We often find some fascinating revelations. Some examples I can think of are:

• To ask your Wood partner for something, you have to talk in terms of the big picture, not a single specific request. You have to see the forest for the trees.
• When a Fire partner seems disinterested, remember that you have to light the fire with the sparkle in your own eyes and excitement in your voice.
• Slow down with your Earth partner and explore and savor life through discussing what you’ve learned along the way. They excel at solving problems so don’t try to solve their problems for them.
• To connect with your Metal partner, go for a drive or sit by the fireplace and just be with them for a day, an evening, or a few hours at least.
• Your Water person will just love if you get out-and-out silly with them. Let loose and do something truly bizarre and fun.

These are just tiny examples of what we do in the sessions. Often the outcome is that each person learns to forgive old resentments once they learn that the person is normal and being themselves.

But even more importantly, we discuss new tools you can use to help each other. You can’t change your true energetic nature, but you can learn new techniques for helping each other be more yourselves and feel accepted and held in high regard.

Examples of techniques may have to do with the kinds of conversations you have, the way you show appreciation for the other person, the time of day you spend together (because different elements are more at ease during different times of the day), and many other possible ways to make your connection stronger and easier.

There are two main categories of relationships. There is the “opposites attract” type—a relationship of two very different energies but a lot of zest. The other one is nourishing and easy but might not have the intensity of the first kind. A third type is much less common—a relationship where both are the same energetic.

Whichever type you have, you can learn about the benefits of that kind of relationship and how to leverage it so that both of you can be yourselves truly.

Who Would Benefit from Five Element Relationship Consultations?

Anyone interested in learning more about the dynamics in an important relationship would benefit from a consultation. You and your partner, for example, would come together.

First we establish your elemental make-up. Then we begin an ongoing discussion of how your energetics work together. It's important to establish how certain behaviors are normal and acceptable in the other person. This promotes forgiveness. You may even get to the point of encouraging the other person to truly be themselves, once you understand what that is!

Other relationships that benefit are parent/child, coworkers, relatives, and friends.